FALL ON YOUR KNEES IN WONDER By Lori A Alicea

Close your eyes and pause, and listen in the hush of the night; eavesdrop into the joy and harmony of the choirs rejoicing in unison…oh do you hear them?

In the calm and quiet of one December evening two thousand years ago, do you sense the sacred presence of a miracle?

Does the core of your being burst as Angel voices echo the heart of heaven, setting the scene of one Holy Night when God emerges and speaks again after four hundred years of silence through the cries of the Christ child breathing his first, who now sleeps in a manger of swaddling clothes?

Do we cast our gaze towards the east of the night and in our hunger for Him, we seek Him and travel thousands of miles as the Magi did, following the star to Bethlehem where Jesus lay, and fall to our knees in wonder while opening treasures to Him?

Does the weight of this wonder cause you to fall on your knees and prostrate face down in worship to a Holy God who sent his only son to be born for our sake?

Oh, do you hear them?

The Angel voices are singing…

Fall on your knees;
O hear the Angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born
O night divine, O night divine.   

O Holy Night
(Excerpt from song
By Placide Cappeau, Adolphe Adam)
Christmas is personal.

Our Heavenly Father longed eternity with us and made a way through His son being born of a virgin.

The Christ Child’s long awaited birth announcement lists his name as…

Wonderful…
Counselor…
Prince of Peace…

Jesus came to be our Savior for all who would receive Him.

Surely, this news of great joy would cause the world to pause and fall to their knees in wonder and join the choir of Angel voices echoing the heart of heaven, setting the scene of one Holy Night when the cries of the Christ child remind us, He was born this night for our sake.

Let’s revisit that Holy Night.
(Matthew 1-2 NIV)
A CHRISTMAS CHILD IS BORN
By Lori A Alicea

Two thousand years ago began,
The story of one night.
Appears to shepherds keeping watch,
An angel caused them fright.

The angel said, be not afraid,
I bring you news of joy.
The Savior has been born to you,
The barn he sleeps this boy.

In Bethlehem, a sign awaits,
Where swaddling clothes are worn.
When find a manger bed, rejoice,
The Christmas child was born.
The shepherds left their flocks at night,
To Bethlehem they went.
They hurried off, amazed to see,
The child that Heaven sent.
That night a Christmas star appeared,
From east three Magi see.
The star would lead them to their King,
The place this child would be.
Bowed down three Magi worshipped him,
This child’s face behold.
Presenting myrrh and frankincense,
To Him their gifts of gold.
A barn received Immanuel,
No royal robes were worn.
Expecting grand, so many missed,
A Christmas child was born.
Dear Lord, the shepherds left it all,
To see if this was true.
The stories told them long ago,
To get a glimpse of you.

Might I be willing, leave behind,
The minute when you call.
Might I be stirred for one small glimpse,
Of you to leave it all.

The Magi traveled far because,
Their heart was for their King.
Prepared to share their love for Him,
Arms full of gifts they bring.

Might I come bearing gifts myself,
For you this Christmas Day.
Surrendered heart I give to you,
My life, please have your way.

This Christmas child no room for him,
No vacancy the inn.
Two thousand years ago one night,
His story does begin.

Remind me when I leave no room,
Or vacancies within.
No guest room but the Master Suite,
Reserved for you my Inn.

And though from heaven you were sent,
To live with us on earth.
The baby born a manger lay,
A barn received your birth.

Might I allow you to grow up,
From manger where you lay.
Who died for me then lives again,
On Resurrection Day.

Dear Lord, you are my gift today,
A treasure wrapped in Thee.
Immanuel, our God with us,
My present ‘neath the tree.

PAYING IT FORWARD By Lori A Alicea

There’s been a flurry about the air these beginning weeks of November and we haven’t even seen our first snow fall.

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With endless lists to complete of gift giving, meal planning, and travel arrangements, we have stirred up a snowstorm of busyness and crowded the streets, the stores, and aisles of all kinds, and the weather of our holiday conquering isn’t letting up anytime soon.

With mere days until we families take our seat at the Thanksgiving table, I dared walking thru the doors of the local grocery store for last minute items on my part of the menu just yesterday, not dressing appropriately for those flurries inside.

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It was just a few days earlier when the weather was calm and quiet inside the Uptown coffee house where I regularly share a café mocha extra hot with a dear friend over conversation for two.

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With not a snowflake in sight, the still and quiet of the morning greeted me as I walked thru the doors and took my place in line; noticing my friend of over thirty years already seated at our familiar place by the window overlooking the streets of our town.

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Placing my café order and about to insert my debit card, the barista stopped me before I could as Thanksgiving came early from an unknown patron paying it forward to complete strangers for the duration I was sitting there and beyond.

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This unexpected kindness caught me off guard, and for the remainder of the day, my thoughts kept returning to a stranger who chose to slow down, notice and touch the smiling, the hurting, the unemployed, and the numb during a season we are meant to enjoy and celebrate, while some are just trying to get through.

Returning back to the snowstorm of buggies jammed up in traffic of the grocery store aisles, I thought of my sister and her family trying to get through their first Thanksgiving dinner with the empty seat of her husband and their father / grandfather pulling their heartstrings for another meal with him.

Did anyone slow down long enough in the grocery aisles to notice my sister’s heaviness of heart in the meat section struggling in her first attempts to find the turkey her husband used to select?

What about the other first-time widows or widowers?

What about those recently losing a child or job?

What about those with a newly discovered diagnosis?

Did anyone look up from their scribbled grocery list and notice these just getting thru the holidays and pay it forward with a smile, a comforting word from a stranger, or maybe even a swipe of their debit card for a customer who’s struggling at the register with insufficient funds.

Sometimes those paying it forward come when you least expect, yet at a time when you need it the most…

My sister Debbie in her own words.
 Today I decided to go shopping for Thanksgiving and get my turkey.

 This was the first time I ever bought a turkey without Andy.  Picking out the turkey, cooking it, and slicing it up, has always been his job.

 You think you are fine for the moment, but grief just creeps up on you out of nowhere.  I was fighting the tears, and my heart was getting heavy as I was trying to pick out a turkey.  I was just feeling lonely and alone.  I found what I was looking for and headed home.
 When I got home there was something waiting for me by my front door.  A fall flower arrangement from two dear people in my life; almost made me cry.

 Thank you both so much for loving and caring about me on a difficult day. 

 God ALWAYS knows.

 Somebody thought of and paid it forward to my sister and made a tangible difference in her Thanksgiving holiday.

During the snowstorms of November and December when the season might not be merry and bright for a complete stranger in the traffic jams of the grocery aisles, oh that we would notice and take off our mittens to be a hand of hope and pay it forward a joyous act of our kindness for someone struggling just trying to get thru.

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LONGINGS OF CHRISTMAS PAST By Lori A Alicea

The pages of my Christmas Past are written from the overflow of my thankfulness for what God has given in wrapped gifts of family and friends, of neighbors and acquaintances, of good times and yes, even hard times.

God is the bow and ribbon which ties up every good and perfect gift He has allowed and added to enlarge the borders of my heart for His glory.

I am a blessed woman because of a good and generous God, who has given me sixty-two Christmas’ thus far to celebrate, sixty-two Christmas trees to decorate with ornaments which tell the stories, the longings written from the pages of my Christmas past.

Years of history is on display at our house during the holiday season, yet one might not notice among the bright lights and fancy decorations set out in each room for a child’s delight during Christmas.

Sometimes it takes the little girl still living inside her adult self who remembers and re-counts the stories written so long ago, to give you the grand and wonderful tour of her Christmas pasts.

The centerpiece of our home growing up was always our mother, who gave her five daughters and one son the happiest and most memorable holidays a child could ever ask for.

We didn’t have much although we didn’t know it, because mother stretched Christmas and our memories for weeks with a freezer full of homemade cookies baked in our mother’s kitchen, greeting cards in the mail, tree decorating, children’s plays at church, visiting Santa, her homemade coffee cake served on Christmas morning and those few but specially picked presents we six kids couldn’t wait to open gathered around the tree.

As an adult now longing for her mother at Christmas, I set out her nativity scene and holiday lights every year to have a small reminder of the centerpiece who gave six children the best December’s to write about.

At the age of twenty-one and twenty-six I became a mother of two, and strived to create those Christmas’ my children would one day write about among the pages of their Christmas pasts.

A small tree is reserved for those ornaments my elementary age son and daughter created with their young hands to give as gifts and hide beneath the tree for this mother until Christmas morning.

There’s even a Santa ornament I made with my own elementary hands hanging on this miniature tree.

I delicately wrap each of these treasures individually to persevere the history of their childhood and will one day pass these ornaments on to them in their Christmas future.

Passed on to this adult granddaughter were a set of my grandmother’s vintage angel ornaments.

I was beyond grateful to have a piece of history I remember enjoying on my grandmother’s tree when we celebrated Christmas Eve for years at her house.

I long for those evenings with her and our grandfather, aunts, uncles and cousins celebrating the holidays together, though sadly, December 24th has never been the same since our grandparents stopped hosting our family tradition.

Then David and I became grandparents of eleven, with one getting ready to experience the joys of the holiday for the very first time this December, adding his picture to our grandchildren’s memory wall and all the trimmings of Christmas for him.

The longing for our ten grandchildren to be little again is an understatement, as somehow these ten have outgrown their holiday pajamas almost as quickly as they put them on.

The Christmas faces smiling at their grandparents are no longer babies, toddlers or young children.

They grew up behind our backs and in a hurry.

Our two youngest are six years of age now, our oldest is an adult and driving, there are two teenagers and two close enough: all grown up from those cherubs posing in their Christmas pajamas.

For a few years, my sisters and I added to the holiday stress of exchanging homemade Christmas crafts with each other.

There was a season when the cousins even began their homemade ornament exchange.

This tradition ended as all good things do, but these crafts from my sister’s hands are a treasure on my tree, although stirs a longing when sisters couldn’t wait for this wonderful reveal from Christmas pasts.

Displayed is a holiday tea set given to me by a dear friend as God’s reminder of friendships and the gift they are meant to be received.

Once every month, breakfast served with coffee and tea is scheduled among friends, my friends, in an intentional way to keep our love and friendship in full bloom with one another.

Time Spent Over Tea
By Lori A Alicea

A cup of tea among dear friends,
A place where memories start.
An afternoon of words exchanged,
Refreshment for the heart.

The music of the spoken word,
Could listen all day long.
When played, sweet life it does impart,
Creates a special song.

It may be just an afternoon,
Of time spent over tea.
But conversation shared with you,
            Means all the world to me.        

As much as the pages of my Christmas pasts are filled with great joy, there are those chapters stained with our tears from broken hearts over those we have loved in our good-byes to them.

Our family has become the intimate few from the crowded houseful we once knew and terribly miss when mother was still with us.

So many vacant seats now around the holiday table to remind us of those memorable Christmas’ we once knew as a family in mother’s home.

An ornament mother gave me hangs on my tree to remember her by.

Another ornament reminder from my stepmother Joyce.

The longings from Christmas pasts are stirred every year in these memory ornaments of my father, mother, sister Mary and Belinda and brother Mark.

I look at my sister Debbie’s ornament and am saddened of the pain which is still fresh from this summer good-bye of her husband Andy.

The emptiness and agony have been unbearable at times for our sister and their children and grandchildren.  We grieve for them in our prayers, text messages, telephone calls and time spent together.

Navigating Christmas is an hour-by-hour array of emotions this year.

My sister Debbie shares the same heart ache and pain with our niece Amy Lynn who has shed an ocean of tears over the most recent good-by of her husband Buzzy.

Amy Lynn and their son David are numb and without joy to decorate for Christmas this year.

As best as we can, our family wraps their arms around these two to bridge the miles which separate our long-distance lives.

This homemade nativity scene was created from Buzzy’s woodshed and now decorates my tree for which I’m beyond thankful to have a tangible piece of his heart.

Christmas present would not be complete without creating new traditions to fill in the voids and longings from Christmas past.

Giving our sister Debbie something to fill an empty heart with as well as sister and niece time for us, dinner is now being served once a month with each taking a turn to host a meal around their table.

I hosted dinner just the other day with comfort food our mother used to make.

This tradition of getting together has been a beautiful gift to open, especially during the holidays.

The past twenty-nine Christmas’s has been spent and shared with the love of my life, David.

He has been the gift I treasure most around the Christmas tree of my heart.

David is a gift I open every day we wake up together, and him coming home to me is the only gift on my Christmas list each day of the year.

I am most thankful to God for him.

The pages and chapters of my Christmas pasts are filled with an abundance of joy, of laughter, and even sorrow with many tears.

Yet, God is the bow and ribbon which ties up every good and perfect gift He has allowed and added to enlarge the borders of my heart for His glory.

GRATEFUL IN THE LITTLE THINGS By Lori A Alicea

The November Door of Thankfulness has been unlocked and opened for just a few days, yet Mother Winter surprised us with our first snow before those fall leaves could take our breath one final time during their encore burst and presentation of color, foregoing some leaves their chance to perform before we raked them into fall’s good-bye.

Things happen which catch us off guard and unaware and make it easy to miss an opportunity to be grateful.  I must confess though, my husband and I had hoped for a few more sweater wearing afternoons seated together for a stolen moment on our couple’s bench listening quietly to music the wind was playing while running its fingertips through the chimes.

Sadly, the theater of fall has had its final curtain call a few days ahead of schedule, closing its doors until opening day next year, with a reminder to be grateful no matter the season.

November weather may be crisp from the kitchen window I allow to be open throughout the winter season to usher in the sounds of life outside to keep me company.  No need to worry though; a space heater warms me during my tasks at the kitchen counter, much to the raised eyebrows from my husband paying the bills.

Nothing stokes the embers of gratefulness in me more than the songs of Christmas and holiday baking.

I’ve never been one who celebrates the holidays according to their order placement on the calendar.

Whenever I am missing my mother terribly and that little girl inside longs for the Norman Rockwell greeting card ambience mother presented for her five daughters and one son every year during the month of December, I recreate mother’s Christmas kitchen to bring me a bit closer to her.
Oh, if I could go back into Mother’s boxes and set aside an apron or two for holiday baking before we sadly packed up her house.  While I’ve never worn the old-fashioned aprons while baking, I wish mother would have dressed us in aprons during those memory making moments while teaching her children to cook.

  Mother needed her aprons as in her excitement, she stirred up a windstorm of flour while rolling out sugar cookies and pie crusts and leaving her indelible handprint of grease onto the recipes she followed.  I was always grateful for this hilarious visual of mother; even more grateful when it wasn’t my week to do dishes during holiday baking.

My sister Denise inherited mother’s cookbook of traditions she gave us during the holidays.  The Thanksgiving meal and memories of stuffing, sweet potatoes, turkey and gravy and all those pies remain in mother’s recipe box, albeit some were handwritten on lunch bags or the back of envelopes.  Yet no matter how we followed each menu item to the final tablespoon, there was always one special ingredient missing: our mother.

 The invitations of holiday’s past remind us that mother’s name has been absent from the guest list going back three long years, with our Thanksgiving table being the first to sadden our hearts with mother’s empty chair.
As the years have passed us by, so has a few of the traditions mother instilled into our family scrapbooks.

Mother would be mortified to witness her son ‘n law Brad baptize Brother Tom into a deep fryer instead of her method of roasting the turkey throughout the day beginning at the start of Macy’s parade.  Thankfully, mother’s daughter Denise kept the tradition in place and another turkey was prepared for those family members who liked their memories just as they were.

Though we loved mother’s stuffing recipe when she prepared it, a new stuffing has made the holiday table; a recipe I learned from my children’s southern grandmother in Kentucky.  This will be our family secret.

The card table has a new shark to take mother’s place, albeit by force and coercion.  Turns out I proved to be a great competitor in mother’s chair; oh, she would be proud.

We laugh, and still cry at times for our mother during the holidays when we remember the angel on the Christmas tree she was to our family.  She lit up our lives and our memories, and neither has been the same since her untimely good-by.
So, whenever I am missing my mother terribly as I was just the other day, and that little girl inside longs to reminisce her Norman Rockwell greeting card presented every year during the month of December, I recreate my mother’s Christmas kitchen to bring me a bit closer to her.

My efforts might fall short to mother’s homemade pies I recall as a child, which is probably the reason I am never assigned the pies for holiday dinners.

But I’m forever grateful for the kitchen memories she gave us during the holidays.

They are always worth remembering.

THANK YOU CARD OF MY HEART  By Lori A Alicea

Today is all about you.

Week after week, your kindness and patience to pull up a chair and open my journal to the page or chapter I have chosen to bookmark for your viewing has honored me in ways mere words are unable to articulate.

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You’ve kept me company along the mountain climbs of uncertainty and deep-ocean dives into the matters of my heart, for which a basket is overflowing on this grandmother’s kitchen table of gratefulness.

While the etiquette of Thank You cards may have gone out of style with the art of kneading and rising of homemade bread.

This grandmother still treasures the old fashioned ways from back-in-the-day, and is handwriting this Thank You card personally to you, those loyal and faithful visitors ringing the doorbell of my home at Apples of Gold Encouragement.

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Fresh out of the oven are warm Christmas cookies made especially for you, a gift of homemade holiday love from my freezer ready to bake on a moment’s notice, no matter the calendar month.

Christmas brings out the little girl inside and memories of mom during the most joyous season of my childhood, which is why I keep the spirit of the season alive to serve the best of me from my home all year long.

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I’ve poured a cup of coffee to savor with your plate of sprinkled sugar cookie Christmas trees and stars, and reserved a seat at the table for you right next to mine for a few words of conversation.

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Here at Apples of Gold Encouragement, our heart is birthed from the scripture…

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
Proverbs 25:11-13 ESV
Where our words spoken in due season and at just the right moment can foster life and nourishment, as apples made of gold served on a silver platter.

In re-telling the stories from my life as a child, a young mother or seasoned grandmother and wife, I keep a silver platter full of encouragement for those like you who might be walking along a similar street in need of a handful of hope.

My written words have traveled thousands of miles around the world and I never know who might be knocking on my door despondent as I have been in seasons before, in need for a bite of encouragement.

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That they themselves might be nourished walking with me during…

My seasons of loss of my mother, my father or siblings…

My broken season abandoned in marriage…

My weeping season of rejection…

My weeping seasons of failure…

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Or celebrate together during theirs and…

My fruitful season as a mother of young children in all stages of growing up…

My fruitful season and second chance in love and in marriage…

My abundant harvest and greatest joy in grand parenting…

My personal walk with God who is the root of everything wonderful in my life…

So, with every journal entry I’ve made each week, every thought and every sentence is written with you on my mind, ensuring a takeaway, a favor left at your place setting at the table, a silver box of courage, inspiration and of faith for visiting my home.
I can’t thank you enough when I’ve realized you’ve stopped by and left your COMMENTS, your LIKES or your SHARES of my words.

Even just one of you tells the story I’ve impacted and touched someone, somewhere in the world.

I’ve been told my handwriting is a disaster and difficult to read for most. But I pray the love inspired in this Thank You card expresses my deepest appreciation for you.

You will never overstay your welcome at Apples of Gold Encouragement.

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A candle burns bright in the nighttime window as a personal reminder to walk on in as somebody is always home.

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GOD WITH US!  By Lori A Alicea

The double doors of 2022 are soon to be drawn and the lights will dim to darkness on the past twelve months of our lives.

green christmas tree with string lights
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Standing still in the doorway while looking over my shoulder one final time as the past three-hundred and sixty-five days of the calendar bid their good-by, I find it a gift to close my eyes and seal into memory the joys and the sorrows, the victories and the trials, the wins and the defeats, the highlights and the lowlights; remembering after retracing the steps of another year, I traveled not alone, but with Immanuel, God with us.

When the clock strikes midnight to a brand new year, and celebrations all around the world transform into snow globes of confetti and balloons; yes, there’ll be cheers, hugs and kisses around the room to those which we love in great hopes of new beginnings; and after those years which proved to be difficult, we all can believe and hope, can’t we?

Which is why when the unknowns of our itineraries are handed out for the year with the mountains still standing before us, as do the valleys, the road blocks, the detours and finish lines; we fear not because we forget not, we travel with Immanuel, God with us.mountains

Peering thru the Christmas windows of my life in 2021, and continuing into the hallways of the New Year’s festivities of 2022, I had to fight feeling alone when I was sick and by myself during the holiday month of December and into January, with my husband fighting for his life in the hospital alone.
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The calendar reminded me about dinner during Christmas that year of 2021, where our children and grandchildren should have been seated around the table with us. Yet God was with us still and took his seat around each of our tables, regardless of the miles which separated them.2018 alicea xmas 5

God was with us during those weeks of telephone calls, midnight text messages, groceries left at the doorstep and grandchildren peering thru my Christmas windows with their smiles of cheer.62A6A18C-43F3-4214-81D3-15E8290A974E

Yes, we celebrate God in the good times because our memories dare not forget, and bring to our remembrance His nearness against our tears in the difficult ones.

There were tidings of great joy this Christmas of 2022 when David and I found our seat at the holiday dinner table once again. While our December season together has been a winter wonderland of ornaments and white lights in every room of our house, there have been moments when we’d shake the snow globe blizzard from a year ago in our conversations, though counting and naming our blessings thru the valley with Immanuel, God with us.

My calendar of 2023 is a blank slate where God will begin to pencil in divine appointments, opportunities for reaching neighbors, reminders to call that someone you’ve been putting off.

coffee notebook pen writing
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There’ll be fishing and sledding dates with our grandchildren regardless of Papa’s hip, craft time with my glue gun and glitter, coffee dates, cousin camp for those who still want to come, gym time with my circle of friends, and Friday night dates with my love.

Let’s not forget those hours set aside to dream new dreams and dust off old ones still vying for my attention, remembering also to reserve time with myself for pampering, resting and window shopping my goals.

Most of all, might my mornings be blocked and penciled in with appointments of prayer and reading his Word as God awaits us in the early hours of our tossing and turning and inability to sleep; His way of starting the coffee and setting an early table for two, where His presence is near, and sensed in the seat close beside…God with us.

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OUR CHRISTMAS PHOTOGRAPH By Lori A Alicea

A Christmas Greeting Card
From Our House to Yours…

Our Christmas past, though long ago,
And Christmas almost here.
The magic of this day the same,
Ring in, Oh Christmas Year.

KEEP KIDS xmas kids houle kids

KEEP family alicea 1

The guests are soon to all arrive,
The hustle’s always there.xmas 2017 4

The tree is decorated grand,
The gifts are picked with care.

KEEP tree hollis decorating treeKEEP presents tree

The music plays around the clock,
Those Christmas tunes of cheer.
The cookies baked and cards sent out,
Just like we do each year.

Such secrets kept inside each gift,
And placed beneath the tree.
Our snooping kids who try and guess,
Just what’s inside for me?

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Such fantasy this Christmas day,
Alive, the kid in us.

KEEP KIDS XMAS GROWN CHILDREN

So worth the wait throughout the year,
So worth the added fuss.

And though we think that Christmas ends,
December twenty-five.
There is a place where joy remains,
And Christmas stays alive.SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

It’s after all the lights unplugged,
And tinsel put away.
And everyone returns back home,
No greetings left to say.

KEEP HOME

The place where Christmas stays alive,
You hear each other laugh.
You see what truly matters most,
That Christmas photograph.

KEEP papa lito alicea kids

From Christmas many years ago,
It seems like yesterday.

The faces of the ones we love,
All froze in time this way.SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

KEEP kids denise tessa talen

Our kids beside the Christmas tree,
We parents gaze awhile.
And long the days of Christmas past,
Their little hands and smile.

KEEP kids xmas picture audra candy 1KEEP KIDS xmas picture jake candy audra 1

And best of all the pictures ‘round,
The table that we sit.
Together as a family,
And candles specially lit.

From year to Christmas year is best,
When gather ‘round to eat.
To give our thanks to God above,
For those in every seat.

Though looking back in Christmas time,
Some faces not aware.
Though how our lives were richly blessed,
The year we saw them there.

For those who live away from us,
We celebrate apart.XMAS MY KIDS DAVID AND AUDRA XMAS 2020KEEP KIDS 2014 jake cova xmas treeCD44F88E-A7DA-485B-88ED-03703C754B73When eyes we see an empty chair,
They’re seated in our heart.

This Christmas family photograph,
Is more than family strings.
From friends and neighbors more beside,
What gift their presence brings.

KEEP KIDS SANTA

Though Christmas comes but once a year,
May every day we laugh.

KEEP kyle ayva on ride kyle can't fit

And celebrate the ones we see,
Our Christmas Photograph.

KEEP papa and gaga with kids

Be blessed this season our friends,
Neighbors, relatives,
The family of God we were born into.

A Christmas poem I sent in our greeting cards
The year of 2004…

A message still true today…

BENEATH THE CHRISTMAS TREE!  By Lori A Alicea

The Christmas of 1989 it was just the three of us.

Our first December holiday without the trimmings we were accustomed to and the relocation from the peaceful acreage of our country life to a noisy city apartment in a subsidized housing community would be quite the adjustment; yet we were thankful for the blessings of family and for Jesus, a baby born to us at Christmas.CANDY JAKE 007

A newly single woman and unemployed a few months prior could have dashed my hopes for a season merry and bright, but when you celebrate the gifts beneath the Christmas tree of your life, you recognize it’s been a joyous Christmas every day since they were born.CANDY JAKE 011

Christmas is a season of giving and the packages exchanged come wrapped as different as the sentiments from which they came.

Raising small children, I wanted them to catch the spirit of giving by putting a new song in their hearts for others, where the lyrics reminds them that as Jesus is God’s gift to us at Christmas, might our bountiful hearts overflow beneath the Christmas tree of neighbors or strangers; even if your mother is unemployed.XMAS GRANDS brooke playing piano

With the curtains drawn from the sliding glass doors of our living room, one could see into their neighbor’s home (and vice versa) when their curtains are opened for the day as ours.

Just a few steps between the back doors of our apartments, it was just the three of them also during this Christmas of 1989; a mother, a son and her baby girl.

Sadly on my part, our families hadn’t been introduced to each other and their story, those unread pages of a mother raising children on her own.

But living in a subsidized housing community is a giveaway that money might be tight at Christmas, so I encouraged my little elf’s to find their song of giving to this neighborhood family, and what we might be able to secretly place beneath their tree come Christmas morning.

There’s always something to give at Christmas; whether baked, made, sung, written or bought; even for a few dollars at the local discount store.

Down the road from our humble apartment and within a short distance on foot, we three took a holiday journey together through the snow covered walkways to Christmas town, pretending Santa had picked us up for a ride on his sleigh.XMAS Jake and Candy 2

Christmas shopping that afternoon was a bigger gift to us as we left our hopes beneath the Christmas tree to renew the hopes beneath theirs; as my daughter picked out a doll for a little girl, and my son a truck for the boy his age next door, remembering the single mom with a pink sweater for a cold winter’s day.CANDY JAKE 011

It was almost midnight that Christmas of 1989 when the lights finally went out from across the yard a few steps away.

Wanting my young son to experience the joy of giving, he stayed awake during the midnight hours with me, filled to the rim of our hearts with excitement, much like the Christmas bag of our wrapped gifts we were about to secretly leave at their back door while the family lay fast asleep.

Waking up that first Christmas morning as a family of three brought a deeper meaning for giving when we terribly longed the memories of Christmas’ past the beginning of December.

We could only imagine a little girl’s smile captured as her eyes noticed a doll beneath the Christmas tree waiting to be held and loved by her; the same joyous smile for the neighborhood boy and his mom.cova xmas

Nobody knew but us when Christmas came next door as a song from my children’s heart echoing one winter night in December.

God multiplied much from the little we had, when we three were willing to give it away.

One Christmas memory from 1989 is a greeting card I love to mail to our loved ones from time to time; as its inscription and message is timeless for every December 25th of our life.vintage-christmas-cards-for-family-and-kids

A TABLE SET BEFORE US! By Lori A Alicea

During the joyous season of the holidays, we all find ourselves sitting in a seat at a table set before us.

Taking our seat where every place setting represents a life in the family, friendship or meaningful relationship around the table.USE 2018 alicea xmas kids 14

While Hallmark movies present a picture perfect table for the holidays; in reality, the table of gathering is uniquely set from every heart of the home.USE xmas table

The simplicity of our father’s Christmas table served homemade cookies and cakes prepared from the hands of a widower of many years.

Missing my father and his modest traditions so terribly, I continue to drive by his house every December 24th in the evening, opening the greeting card of Christmas past from across the street, reminiscing through the kitchen window and listening for laughter still baked in the walls when we daughters shared a few hours with dad around his table.

In mother’s later years of life in the nursing home, we girls would join her and the other residents and their guests for a Christmas meal together.

The love of the host overflowed onto her decorated tables for those she served everyday throughout the years, regardless that many of the residents had lost their capacity to appreciate the thoughtfulness in her details.

But God sees the unnoticed and receives it all as if you had done it unto Him.

Somebody loved our mother as we sat with her around the table those remaining December’s of her life; a gift we will treasure for Christmas’ to come.

Some tables set in December have a few tears of sadness sprinkled with the faux snow spread around the winter centerpiece scene, when those seated next to them are thousands of miles away in thought with those they’re unable to be together with during the holidays.

One Christmas, our son ate his holiday meal on the other side of the world from us, actually a day in advance from us while serving his country in the military; although the miles were bridged when a homemade gift from our officer’s hands arrived in the mail the day after Christmas.

A mother’s heart was full during a long and lonely year she hadn’t hugged her son for months.

How do you set a table of Christmas for a mother you’re unable to reach when the doors aren’t opening to visitors?TABLE Ate Alone

Where do you find the magic of Christmas when mother’s seat at the table is void of her being; well, at least at her earthly table? Mother found her reserved place at heaven’s banquet table the moment she opened her eyes to Jesus.

Mother’s presence remains in the traditions she created for her children and grandchildren, and in her seat at the card table I now sit at when she left us for a better place.  

My husband and I are like little children waiting to wake up on Christmas morning together, believing God to redeem the season from one year ago when David ate his holiday meal from the tray of his hospital bed, while separated from me as I sat alone at my table that December evening because of sickness too.ava at xmas

Regardless of every table set before us…

Christmas will always be about a baby born in a manger, and the joy that filled the earth when our Savior cried for the very first time in His mother’s arms.

God is faithful to us during the holidays, and every day.

God is near to the brokenhearted whose covenant love will reach a thousand generations.

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments. Deuteronomy 7:9 NIV

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18 NIVUSE church

For Christmas this year, I’m setting tables.

While I love the sparkle and twinkle of a beautifully set table, I won’t miss the unexpected opportunities to set a table of simplicity as my father once did for us daughters each Christmas Eve, serving cookies and love on a plate for those seated around his table.

USE xmas at dads

MORE THAN A COOKBOOK OF RECIPES  By Lori A Alicea

It was once quoted:

Most of us will be remembered, in work and in life, for just a few words or deeds that made a difference to others. The way we choose to say good-by is likely to be one of the ways we are remembered.
Frances Hesselbein

How true this was for my grandmother.

Who knew a large, table size crystal plate of homemade holiday cookies served on Christmas Eve each year of my childhood would be the memory I treasured most of my grandmother.

A small deed gaining no fame or recognition on the evening news; nor article in a Good Housekeeping magazine either.

But congregating around a basement table draped with a holiday scene of felt and sequins each December 24th, were her grandchildren ruining their dinner appetites gobbling their grandmother’s famous peanut butter balls, fudge and an assortment of decorated cookies; all full of homemade love.

Carrying this memory with me my whole life kept this little girl inside smiling around a table of cookies; so much so that all I wanted when my grandmother passed away was her cookbook of holiday recipes, her crystal plate and felt tablecloth of sequins.

Grandma’s memory was kept alive through the years when I’d set out her crystal cookie plate and fill it full of confections I remembered and loved as a child.

Recently, her cookbook found its way back into my cupboard after re-discovering this treasure while emptying a storage-unit full of boxes.

Never opening my grandmother’s heirloom after all these years until today, did I realize her valuable gift was more than a cookbook of recipes but also a time capsule of family mementos she saved.

Wedding invitations of my sister’s and mine from year 1978 and 1980.Belinda's wedding invite

Lori Wedding invite to Mike

A Christmas poem I authored and sent in the year 2004, only to be converted to my grandmother’s Christmas card list on the back. So many names I smiled to see on my grandmother’s circle of influence, though sad to remember a few good-byes since her Christmas list was written.2004 xmas poem

Bertie 2004 xmas list

A wedding anniversary card from my grandfather to his sweetheart, signing it ever so sweetly,

From Little Old Me,
DanGrandpa Houle anniversary card front

Grandpa Houle anniversary card inside

But what caught my attention most were a few prayers written by my grandmother, hidden between the pages of her cookbook of recipes.

Randomly written on the backs of other pages as was her Christmas list, my grandmother poured out her heart before God, unknowingly blessing her adult granddaughter decades later.

I never knew Grandma Bertie in this private and intimate way, so to unearth the overflow of my grandmother’s heart framed in two small prayers are the few words I’ll also remember and cherish her by as Frances Hesselbein once quoted:

Most of us will be remembered, in work and in life, for just a few words or deeds that made a difference to others. The way we choose to say good-by is likely to be one of the ways we are remembered.
Frances Hesselbein

Prayer By My Grandmother
Alberta (Bertie) Houle

Heavenly Father, as we begin each day, let our thoughts turn to you and ask your help in guiding us in everything we do and trust that you will see we receive what we need daily.

Give us courage to face life’s trials and let us keep in mind, “Your will”, not “mine” be done, and help us understand you know what’s best for us.
Amen

Grandma Bertie prayer 1

Another Prayer By My Grandmother
Alberta (Bertie) Houle

Heavenly Father, we thank thee for all the love that has been given us.

For the love of family and friends and above all for your own love poured out upon us every moment of our lives.

Forgive our unworthiness.
Forgive the many times we have disappointed those who love us.

Teach us your own consistency in love, your humility, selflessness, and generosity in everything we do.

In your name we pray.
AmenGrandma Bertie prayer 2

My grandmother took with her to heaven the reasons she memorialized these prayers instead of secretly lifting them to God’s ears only.

But finding my grandmother’s hidden words between the pages of a cookbook and sealed with a kiss for a granddaughter decades after they were written is one priceless gift.

For some reason I was supposed to discover them today when all I aspired to do was hold a grandmother’s cookbook of my childhood memories.

God is full of surprises when you least expect, when you’re not even looking.

Today, was one of those days.