COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS…Name them one by one! By Lori A Alicea

I can close my eyes and still remember as if it was yesterday.

A lighthouse known for its glorious steeple lifting its countenance upwards towards the heavens in praise, whose doors swing open into a haven of peace and refuge, an old fashioned church of my childhood.

DREAMS church home
Christmas through the eyes of this little girl is back at rehearsal for the Children’s play, whose classes all crowd together on the front row pews and wait their turn for the stage.

Nervous of performing before a church full of smiling parents, blinded by the camera flashes of these proud paparazzi, hoping the words of the songs she rehearsed won’t escape a child’s remembrance.

Dancing and sparkling through the stain glass windows is a private light show of its own, whose brilliance takes this child by her innocent hand to an evening where a star of wonder guides three wise men to a little town of Bethlehem to greet their Savior, our baby Jesus who lay in a manger.

So much to be thankful for during this holiday season.
Scripture reminds and instructs us how to be a little child of thanksgiving:

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving,
and into his courts with praise; be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
Psalms 100:4 (KJV)

Counting our blessings…
naming them one by one.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS sheet music
There are certain snapshots of my childhood recalled from the albums of my memory which take me back to the potter’s wheel, a place of molding, making and fashioning a little girl who would one day surrender her heart to Jesus.

An old fashioned church with an old fashioned pastor, a congregation of sheep who God sent to lead, to preach and sing often his signature song I still hear today in my memory, when Jesus left the ninety-and-nine for the one who strayed away.

PASTOR reverend nickel

This little girl grew up and continues to count her blessings for the pastors whom God sent her way after moving forward from those steps of an old fashioned church.

Pastors who fathered and loved a little girl back to life, whose marriage demonstrated true love “in sickness and in health.”

Pastors who led the way and took us with him to the mission field to pour into the orphans and widows; to also fight from the front porch steps of our country, whose precious jewel in his wife he shares with us as the first lady of our hearts.

Pastors whose love extends to sheep not from the flock of his own, who shepherds our children, our mother and family, who also performed the dedication of three of our grandchildren and remains a Pastor’s Pastor to us.

I count my blessings in the decades of quality time with friends who gather over breakfast once a month, who flood my cell phone with text messages of encouragement, who meet me at the gym while dawn still sleeps, and friends who take my call every Monday evening for an hour of “our time” together.

I name my blessings one by one through friends who met, worked, got into trouble together and are infamous as partners in crime. Friends who walked with each other up the mountain tops of love, glitter and marriage and held on tight through the valleys of divorce and death. True friends ringing my doorbell no matter the time of day.

I count my blessings in church friends who are more like sisters and gifts under my Christmas tree. They celebrate and grieve with you, my warriors in prayer who petition before God on my behalf. Love for them overflows from the cup of my heart.

How do I write that thank you card for this friend of over three decades. A former boss who remained my friend throughout life. A writing companion whose completed books have inspired my efforts to persevere for my first on the book shelf.

A true friend who lives states and hours away, yet attends your daughter’s wedding because I asked.

FRIENDS Mary Ellen

This little girl could stay in prayer for hours counting blessings, thanking God for a basket full of friendships in her sisters, daughters and Best Friend in Jesus.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS praying

Growing older and sadly watching the leaves of our life change and fall to the ground from traditions that used to be when mother was still with us.  Yet, I count my blessings for those new traditions which clothe my barren tree with new life and memories, celebrating with three generations of family.

A grandmother’s knees are worn from the hours of praise for those ten Christmas grandchildren who call her Gaga.

Never forgetting those children now grown, those born of my womb or born of my heart.

Remembering where it all began in God’s plan, gathered around the Christmas tree among my five sisters, brother and parents.

Sometimes being thankful isn’t wrapped around a lap full of gifts you can open.

This holiday season I am a child of great thanksgiving…

Counting my blessings…naming them one by one…

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS sheet music
As I…

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving,
and into his courts with praise; be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
Psalms 100:4 (KJV)

As Christmas came early at the Alicea house, when I unwrapped the gift of another day with David, my soulmate of 27 years, when God intervened in a life threatening situation.ANOTHER DAY use

I don’t have enough hands to count my blessings this Christmas.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS praying

I would be re-miss not mentioning the summits this family stood together on many times over this year, facing the bitter cold, barrenness and eerie silence of life without the loved ones left behind on those frozen mountains of memories we’ll visit from time to time.

But yet, we still continue to count our blessings and name them one by one, celebrating the overflow of their lives spilled onto ours.

The holidays will never be the same without Joe’s homemade sweet potato pies, Reuben’s Christmas cards filled with a brother’s gush of handwritten sentiment, and me sharing mother’s homemade coffee cake with my brother thru the US Mail.

If nothing else this holiday season though, I am thankful for life, I am thankful for home.

XMAS HOME

While sugarplums still dance in my dreams for a long cabin or an old fashioned renovated church to live in…

I’ll keep saying it for the rest of my days,

Wherever David is, I’ll always be home.XMAS DAVID AUBREY

May this be a season of thankfulness for all of you…

Many thanks for your faithfulness to share in these weekly words of my heart.

I appreciate you more than you know.  A tree of ornaments in my heart has your names written all over them.xmas ornament

 

BEST BUDS FOR LIFE By Lori A Alicea

Ever had a best bud?
Ever been two peas in a pod?
Ever been stuck together like glue?

First they were cousins, now more like brothers.
Yes that’s Ethan and Brodie, Best Buds for Life.

It all began years ago at “cousin camp”; a weekly Friday night tradition where all the grandkids spend the night with Papa and Gaga.  When David and I became grandparents we wanted to create a library full of scrapbook memories during that small window of opportunity where the grandchildren still wanted to hang out with us.  When friends and sports become a part of their life, it will be our turn to pursue them for available time.

Ethan and Brodie became partners in crime the minute cousin camp opened its doors.  You never saw one without the other and quite the tears when half the duo couldn’t attend our Friday night sleepover.

brodie and ethan in window in pullup

At cousin camp there is no minimum age requirement to join the club.  These boys have had their diapers and pull ups changed together.  They’ve learned to crawl and walk as a team.  From tricycles to training wheels to full freedom on two tires , they have shared so much life together on Friday night.  Brodie and Ethan lay their sleeping bags side by side so they can wrestle and laugh and whatever boys do when nobody is looking.  Oh the times Papa would have to end the midnight crazies so everyone else could sleep.

Little boys don’t require much.  Give them a ball and bat and the movie Sandlot comes to life where an old fashioned neighborhood of kids get together for the love of baseball.  The laughs and cheers as these two swat the ball and round the bases like miniature Babe Ruth’s.

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

The boys are sprouting faster than a field of weeds.  They’ve outgrown their bikes again and Papa will have to hit the garage sales for summer replacements.  The parents can’t keep them in shoes and Papa and Gaga sense the Friday night window with them closing ever so slightly.

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

To date, cousin camp takes in six of our ten grandchildren, as four live out of town.  Our DC babies join our Friday night traditions whenever they come for a visit.  Our oldest grandchild is thirteen soon so our first cousin-camp graduation might be this year.  Just don’t tell Papa.

When cousin-camp closes its doors for good, it is our prayer as grandparents that our grandchildren enjoy turning the pages of their cousin camp scrapbooks every now and then.  That the intentional time we’ve sowed into these “gifts from God” reap relationships with each other into their adult lives.

May their cell phones always have cousin camp members on speed-dial.

May all ten of them be Best of Buds For Life.

buddies 1

OFF YOU GO
By Lori A Alicea

And off you go a cousin pair,
The miles in your car.
Remember where your Papa lives,
He’ll wonder where you are.

Don’t get too far or dare forget,
He’s crazy for you two.
So pick him up when think of it,
He’d love a car ride too.

THE CLIMB OF YOUR LIFE By Lori A Alicea

Ever been thrown a curve ball you didn’t see coming?
Ever knocked down from a kick in the gut of your blind side?
Life’s punches come out of nowhere when you least expect it.
A job loss!  Divorce!  Financial ruin!  The diagnosis!
You turn your back for a second and there it is, Mount Unforeseen,
forcing the climb of your life.

Nothing prepares you for the ascent.  There are no guarantees you will summit Unforeseen.  It doesn’t matter.  Recovery and healing depends on you walking, even if it’s up the side of a mountain.

Every long journey begins with a first step.  That foot placed in front of the other, mustering strength as you ignore the weight of your backpack, heavy from the loss of heart and hope.  The map of your climb measures a walk around the world; it’s just too much.  But it doesn’t matter.  You have to care.  Your loved ones care.  Be encouraged that others have climbed before you and kissed the moon from Unforeseen’s highest peak.  Heart and hope are worth that first step.  You’re worth it.
Start climbing.

BE NOT AFRAID.
A guide will lead you every step of the way.  You can trust Him.
He knows the way because “He is the Way…” John 14:6.
“The valleys are dark but there you will be comforted.”  Psalms 23:4
DO NOT FEAR.

BE ENCOURAGED.
While conquering mountains seem IMPOSSIBLE in man’s eyes,
With God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.”  Matthew 19:26

 “BE STRONG.
BE BRAVE.
BE FEARLESS.

You are never alone.”  Joshua 1:9

The Climb of Your Life Jake and Marathon 1

RUN THE RACE
By Lori A Alicea

The miles, the distance that you run,
The finish nowhere near.
From every bend and stretch of road,
For you, your loved ones cheer.

You’re not alone, these miles of steps,
Find strength to run the race.
Your crowd remains the finish line,
Until we see your face.

THE PRINCESS WITHIN By Lori A Alicea

Little girls sure love to play “dress up”.

A full length mirror reflects her show of heels, beads, purses and gloves, all compliments of mommies closet.  To catch a glimpse in every angle, hips sway from side to side as a private dance for one.  Practiced lines to her mirrored audience carry to a mother secretly listening outside the actress’ door.

A Star is Born.
But a Princess She’s Always Been.

Little girls of every age love to play “dress up”.  Though all grown up, that little girl stays behind for future productions of turnabouts, dances, proms and weddings, still addressing her mirrored audience for dress rehearsal.  Fairy tales and its fanciful glitter must be sewn into the dress, as Cinderella comes to life upon her runway reveal.

A Star is Born.
But a Princess She’s Always Been.

As a mother you always want your daughter to believe how beautiful she is.  These words are showered upon her newborn face and echo in the years that follow.  “Dress up” continues in her fashion show of bonnets, bows and patent leather shoes for every occasion; with the photo shoot to remember it all.

“Isn’t she lovely!”
The sentiment of parents, grandparents and family alike.
Of course she is; more lovely than hearts convey.

Sometimes though, lovely is clouded in the mirror of Cinderella’s eyes, when lovely is defined by the dress or what fairy tales we believe or told should look like.

A Star Might be Born.
But A Princess She’s Always Been.

From the beginning she was fashioned “fearfully and wonderfully” in her mothers womb.  Psalm 139:14.  In the hands of her Creator, the Most High King, she was formed in “the image and likeness of God.”  Genesis 1:27.  She wasn’t born in a dress.  She wasn’t conceived in a fairy tale.  “All the days ordained for (her) were written in your book before one of them came to be.”  Psalm 139:16.

A Princess She’s Always Been.

The Princess Within Rosalee with shoes

That Princess Within
By Lori A Alicea

Don’t ever run from who you are,
Our Princess in Disguise.
More beautiful you see yourself,
When seen from Father’s eyes.

 

 

 

IN THE STILLNESS By Lori A Alicea

As the sun slumbers giving the moon and stars their turn to keep watch, stillness hushes the night, putting to sleep the day we just lived.   The twenty-four hours present is now a page written in the past.  Those waters turbulent hours ago are now calm and the quiet of the night is whispering, “Be still.”

We all need rest.
Rest from our weariness.
Rest from our circumstances.
Rest for strength for another day.
Rest to hope again.

Night pulls back the curtains to the skies undeniable brilliance, reflecting its face from the mirrors of the waters below.

In the midnight hour, calm and quiet wrap their arms around you and peace settles as dew on the morning grass.

The One who set creation’s stage gently taps your shoulder and speaks,

“Be still, and know that I am God…”
Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

He is God, the one who separated night from day, spoke the sun and moon into place and named every star in the sky.

He is God as far as eyes can see.  We are witnesses to His signature left behind in nature’s intricate details.

He is God and ever present among us.  We’re never alone in the rough waters of day.  We have company in the stillness of night.

He is God.

No matter the storms,

…He’ll calm you with his love…Zephaniah 3:17 (MSG)

As quickly as day kissed the cheek of evening goodnight, the break of dawn will give birth to morning.  You’ll hear the cry of another twenty-four hours being born at sunrise, another opportunity to see God in the face of a new day, to experience Him in the Stillness, no matter the hour.

In the Stillness yellow flowers

A NEW DAY RISING
Lori A Alicea

A new day rises with the sun,
In Stillness might I see?
Attention paid to unseen blooms,
Much more He cares for me.

He clothes the grass and flowers all,
He tends my garden too.
His hand is near, he tends my heart,
Like spring, each day is new.

 “If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you…  Matthew 6:30 MSG

 

ARROWS OF WORDS By Lori A Alicea

How do you escape their arrows of words?  Where can you hide from the fiery darts launched specifically at you?  Those arrows whose flight mission is ordered by everything else but love.  Arrows whose flight pattern is aimed for the heart and rarely miss.  How do you escape?

You never think it will happen to you.  Growing up sheltered among the love of five other siblings, you can’t imagine a world any different; that is, until the class bell rings for school.

Cruelty is packed in many lunch boxes where everything is fair game.  My long red hair didn’t fit in with the blond haired girls.  Seat kicking and hair pulling was common.  Jokes about my overbite and non-fashionista clothes didn’t relent.  Freckles never came in style.  I couldn’t escape humiliation of “wolves singing” during attendance when my last name was frequently mispronounced as “Howl”.  Walking the halls incited others to grab my books and litter the floors.  Although with nobody to share lunch there was one hour of escape to the library; my sanctuary of friends among the isle of books, with hitchhikers allowed to come for the ride of reading.

You never think it will happen to you but it did.  Their arrows of words targeted me for years.  I was able to fight back and knock them down with my grades, yet their fiery darts left an indelible sting in my confidence and self-worth for years.

Being alone in school didn’t keep me from having a true friend though; an author of one of those books in my secret place at lunch; one whose love for me is in the details of its pages:

Psalm 139

You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways…
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because
I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

17 How precious to me are your thoughts!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

 When I began to understand and receive the love of my Creator, I soon felt sorry for the archers of the arrows when I realized hurting people hurt people.  Matthew 12:34 NKJV says it best, …for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.  Compassion for those launching their arrows grieved me as I imagined the missions of arrows that still may be painfully lodged in them.

In this lonely world we live in, hug your kids tighter today.  Then hug them again.  Give somebody else’s kid a hug.  Give yourself a hug.

Tell them that Jesus DIED that they might LIVE.

Don’t let an opportunity pass you by because you never know who might be dying a slow death from the arrows of words.

ashleighs picture 1

Ashleigh’s Arrows
By Great Aunt Lori Alicea

I wish I could have seen your eyes,
The emptiness display.
I wish I could have heard that cry,
For help to come your way.

I wish I could have touched your heart,
Remove the arrows there.
Remind you that you weren’t alone,
Your Father God did care.

I grieve the clock I can’t turn back,
The past I can’t undo.
In honor I keep vigil watch,
For Ashleigh’s just like you.

 

I’VE GOT THIS By Lori A Alicea

We all have to face that day.
Not one of us is immune or safe from that day.
You can’t block the unexpected phone call from shattering your world.
You can’t hide in a closet from the pain that is coming.
There’s no road far enough to run from the news that will change everything.
No amount of pretending will shield you from the arrows of heartache.
If today is that day
and the pain is too great to wrap your arms around it,
I’VE GOT THIS.

Until we see Jesus there will be that day.
We live.  We die.  We fall down in between.
For every hello there is a goodbye on hold.
There’s no Band-Aid big enough to prevent a heart’s bleeding.
There’s no dam strong enough to hold back the flooding of tears.
There are no words to answer your pleading “Why?”
If you’ve been swept away into this ocean of sorrow,
I’VE GOT YOU.

If today is that day:
Your Heavenly Father’s GOT THIS.
Your Heavenly Father’s GOT YOU.

Take comfort this day.  The one who created the heavens and earth, the one who spoke every star into place with his voice, sees all things and knows all things.
He holds the universe in His hands.
He holds you in his hands.

In him all things hold together.  Colossians 1:17 NIV

HE’S GOT THIS.

 Your Heavenly Father’s also GOT YOU. 
God is so close to our mourning.
He grieves for all of our tears.
So much so that:

You keep track of all my sorrows,
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.”  Psalms 56:8 NIV

Your Heavenly Father’s also GOT YOU in your tomorrow.
He never leaves us nor forsakes us; especially when we’re hurting.
That day will end and tomorrow is coming.
Take comfort, He will always turn your sorrow into joy:

… weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.  Psalm 30:5 NIV

Ashleighs picture.jpg

HE’S GOT YOU
By Lori A Alicea

Your life we celebrate this day,
Twelve years, although were few.
Remembering the days you lived,
And plan He had for you.

Our arms are void of your embrace,
Our hearts, you now reside.
Rejoice the Father’s GOT YOU now,
His arms you rest inside.

 

A RACE FOR THE GENERATIONS By Lori A Alicea

We all have a race to run.  A race to answer the high calling placed on our life.  A race to fulfill the great purpose we were born with.  A race we must run with endurance to receive the prize.  A race we must finish with future generations in mind.

As a middle aged couple with ten grandchildren to brag about, my husband and I are more aware than ever the race we run before them.  The stats and results of our race will be studied and talked about for generations to come; albeit a win or great defeat.  Knowing this, we run to finish strong our “leg” of this relay event, handing off to the next generation that baton of great inheritance.

As in life, as in a 4 x 400 meter relay, you only get one lap around the track.  That’s 400 meters, a mere sprint to complete the mission you were assigned.  A mission mandating you to stay in your lane and not detour; focus forward and not look back, lest you trip.  This is a relay where success or disqualification occurs in the baton exchange zone to the next “leg” waiting their turn to begin running;
a race for the generations.

As our Children’s children are a crown to the aged… Proverbs 17:6 (NIV), our reward as “silver hairs” nearing that exchange zone of the baton, it is our great desire that an inheritance, a treasure chest of our love, memories and wisdom for a Godly pursuit be passed into the hands of our second, third and generations to come.  We want to leave a legacy written in the blank pages of our family Bible that cheer them on from the stands of their race:

…. RUN and not grow weary…Isaiah 40:31

 …RUN with perseverance the race marked for you,
fixing your eyes on Jesus…
Hebrews 12:1-2

A Race for the Generations Portrait of Legacy picture

OUR GREAT CLOUD OF WITNESSES
By Lori A Alicea

May all the words you hear us speak,
May what your eyes can see.
The love we give remind you of,
No other one but Thee.

  Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith….
Hebrews 12:1-2 (NIV)

 

AS A MOTHER COMFORTS…. By Lori A Alicea

Surrounded by the arms of a mother.  A secret garden of butterflies and rainbows where only moms and kids allowed.  A hidden place of “their” songs and kisses to make it all feel better.  Like quieted birds nestled beneath the sheltered wings of its mother, so is a child who finds comfort near the heartbeat of the one who gave them life.

 As a grandmother peering through the lenses of our daughter’s lives, those angels whose arms are full with our ten adoring grandchildren.  I am in awe of their tangled web of “heartstrings” that tug and pull on a mother’s love to her child and back again.  Mothers hear every cry, albeit faint of her child.  Mothers know the right words at her child’s inconsolable moments.  Mothers sing that song reserved just for the two of them.

This maternal bond is a mystery.

As a mother comforts her child… Isaiah 66:13 NIV. 

Love never fails.  1 Corinthians 13:8 NIV.

It was a recent hospital stay for our daughter where I had a front row seat to the “heart-string” tug from our granddaughter Ayva for her mother.  Out of ten grandchildren, Ayva has always favored and found contentment in my arms.  But an inconsolable moment of Ayva grieving the absence of her mother had me dialing for a Face-time call to our daughter.  Just hours post surgery and propped up by a pillow, our daughter’s face on the phone was as a window being watered from a summer rain of Ayva’s tears at first sight of her mother.  Finding solace in their secret garden for two, Ayva’s mother began to sing their special song for comfort.  For a quick second I reminisced our song, “You are My Sunshine” believing my daughter passed it on to Ayva.  Yet the tune “Happy Birthday” was the heart-string that pulled on Ayva’s heart.

As a child of God, we never get too old where our Father doesn’t stop for the cries of his children as “He is the God of all comfort…” 2 Corinthians 1:3.  The love God has for us is personal.  He will meet you at at your moment of dire despair.

I was a twenty-eight year old divorced, single mom of two, when the comfort of God found me during a night of sheer darkness.  Never being on my own before and feeling the weight of caring for a baby and a six year old, I suffered abandonment as a child afraid, wondering the streets.  I was overcome by loneliness; alone, and desperately not wanting to be.  Minute by minute the heaviness of the midnight hour tormented me.  I began sinking in the implosion of my brokenness.  In desperation I cried out for God and His comfort.  As a mother rushing to the side of her weeping child, God came to me and pulled on our heart-string as a “hush” I can’t explain, which stilled and quieted my heart.

As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you….”  Isaiah 66:13

Rest in His Love Picture ethan blanket pacifier in fetal position

Moments as You Sleep  By Lori A Alicea

Find peaceful sleep my little child,
Soft blanket rest your head.
Oh hear my voice your lullaby,
And story that I read.

Stay calm and quiet in your dreams,
Your fret the angels keep.
I hover you my precious child,
These moments as you sleep.

Take comfort child when you awake,
You’ll always find me here.
For every cry though loud or faint,
My love forever near.

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you….”  Isaiah 66:13

 

 

IT’S MORE THAN A TOWEL By Lori A Alicea

Towels.

More than a wrap after a hot steamy shower.

More than a stack of fluffy color coordinated terry cloth to complete the bathroom ensemble.

The delight of squirming wet babies scooped from their baths resembling zoo babies in their animal decorated towel hoods to keep them warm.

It’s more than a towel we dry off with after our bath.
It’s more than just a towel.

When I think of serving, I think of towels.

My husband David throws a towel over his shoulder each time he serves me at a sink full of dishes.  Maybe his shoulder is a convenient place for towels when dishes are ready to be dried.    Maybe it’s my reminder that great leaders are servant leaders; that no task is beneath them.

More than a Towel Picture

I could write a book filling the pages of dedication that have earned my husband his stripes for lifetime service to our family.

He proudly wears the uniform reserved only for servants, a high position for those willing to answer the call to go low.

Laundry, cooking, housework, yard work and car repairs make the short list.

My husband delighted in shining patent leather shoes to a sparkle for his little girls before church.

Blow drying their hair after baths was “special time” he believed all daddies enjoyed.

Neighbors could hear the laughter of “catch” in the backyard between a father and his sons.  Little league games stole the base a father’s heart in the summer,  yet gave away his heart through date nights and time over coffee with his wife.

Jesus answered the call of servant leadership

When as Lord, he bowed and washed his disciple’s feet, then dried them with his towel.
John 13:1-17 (NIV)

Though his disciples not understanding, Jesus urged these twelve to also take up their towel and wash another man’s feet.

Stating that “16no servant is greater than his master…”,
17that you will be blessed if you do…”
John 13:1-17 (NIV)

Throughout the decades the pages of our marriage boasts a best seller because one man understood the power of the towel; an attitude of his heart.

To lead you must serve.

In going low you will go high.

To wash another man’s feet you will be blessed.

To answer the call, you take up your towel.