waiting – Apples of Gold Encouragement

A grandmother’s prayer…

“Wait for her.”

Though you are too young to have entertained a thought about her just yet, too young to catch a glimpse of her loveliness or even imagine her name, I promise you one day the mere mention of her will burst the gates of your heart and flood your tomorrows, so much so that your grandmother in quiet prayer for your future wife she prays,
“Wait for her.”
When God was “knitting you in your mother’s womb”,
He was also “fearfully and wonderfully making her in the secret place”.

His “eyes kept vigil on your unformed bodies” and
His thoughts of the two of you already “outnumber the grains of sand.”

“All your days have been ordained and are
written in His book before one of them came to be.”
(Psalms 139)

God knows her.
He’s chosen her to complete you.
She’s perfect for you in every imaginable way.

Your grandmother prays for your chaste and faithful heart to
“Wait for her.”
Surrounded by your love of sports, bicycle riding through town, summertime at the park and whatever else boys your age like to do, the future of your older self is too far of a distance down the tracks to see.
The prettiest girl in your life today who has your eyes you call her mommy.
The heroes’ keeper of her heart is a man named daddy.
God has kept your young love for each other a secret and asleep, but a true love nevertheless, promised to awaken the morning of God’s perfect timing.
You must stay hidden from the thief of her counterfeit.

Swiftly flee from the distractions of delay.

Believe and keep a firm grip on God’s truth that,
“All your days have been ordained”, as well as hers.
“Wait for her.”

In the waiting you’re trusting for God’s introduction to your completeness.

In the waiting you bow a knee in surrender,
“Not my will but Thine.”

In the waiting you forfeit the world’s good for His Best.

In the waiting, your time will come.
But until then,
Wait for her.
The wait will be worth it all.

True love waits.

True love “waits on God” for His perfect best, for however long it takes.

True love “trusts in God” the steps he’s planned for your journey, resisting the lead when guided thru the “wrong way appearances” of the back roads.

True love “believes in God” that He hasn’t forgotten you during the lonely hours spent by yourself.

True love “rests in God” no matter our tears as He notices and collects them all in a bottle where not one is lost, recording this in His book of remembrance. (Psalm 56:8 TPT)

True love waits.

Waiting though is easier said than done.

As a single mom of two I never imagined a five year wait for “God’s best in marriage.”

Twenty-eight years old and starting over again was never my plan, nor was it God’s plan. Nevertheless, I am a “lady in waiting” for the second time.

I must confess the countless lies I believed regarding who would want me and my ready-made family. God reminded me over and over though the double blessing His “hand-picked man” would receive bringing all three of us into his life.

For most of the time I didn’t sense the loneliness of my life surrounded by sisters, a great family, church, a few dear friends and all my time filled with the responsibilities of raising two small children.

During the summer months most days on my calendar were filled with Little League. It helped having somewhere to go at night and on weekends, at least for the summer.

School and shift work kept me exhausted but I always saved a reserve of my time, energy and love for that little girl and boy who needed me to be present in their day. We had to go on and God would want us to enjoy life and be thankful in all things.

Holidays were the hardest though, especially at Christmas. I found joy in the decorated trees trimmed with bright lights and sparkle. I loved the Christmas music played on every station. I found warmth beside the fireplaces lit for the ambience of the season. I too shopped and baked and hid those gifts under the tree. But I wasn’t sending out Christmas cards from the “two of us”. I didn’t share a kiss with anyone under the mistletoe. When you’re not a couple at Christmas you feel like that burnt out strand of lights that went dim on the tree. People aren’t watching, but in your loneliness you just imagine that they are.

Year after year when the New Year’s Eve clock counted down to midnight, I held on to the promises of God that this year might be different.

GOD’S WORD KEPT ME HOPEFUL AS HE IS FAITHFUL

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

“I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; Psalms 130:5

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

One day I decided to write God the “desires of my heart”. These desires surely pale in comparison to His Best, but these words longed to give a voice to my heart.

GOD’S BEST ACCORDING TO ME
Written March 7, 1993, One year before God’s Big Reveal
By Lori A Alicea

As I sit and ponder,
And search to see.
What truly is God’s best,
According to me.

It all comes to mind,
In my quiet place.
I begin to know him,
And sense his face.

He’d have a beard,
Kept up each week.
To be ever soft,
Against my cheek.

He’d stand so straight,
But not too tall.
And have arms of strength,
To protect us all.

He’d enjoy the laughter,
And enjoy the peace.
And enjoy it with measure,
That never would cease.

He’d be so excited,
About the children I’ve known.
And would treasure their being,
And make them his own.

He’d be the likeness of Christ,
And bear his name.
And be the priest of our home,
Just the same.

He’d cover me with prayer,
At the start of each day.
And I’d feel his compassion,
By the words he’d say.

And more important than ever,
More important than me.
Would be his race towards Jesus,
And the heavenly.

And all this is beautiful,
What a dream he’d be.
But this is only God’s best,
According to me.

My thoughts are so limited,
And ideas so few.
And all this together,
Would not be dreams come true.

For just as the heavens,
Are higher than the earth.
So are His ways far greater,
In value and in worth.

For it is he that knows my desires,
For only he can see.
What truly is his best,
For me.

And even though on paper,
My special needs I state.
I must allow the matchmaker,
To select my mate.

God is a personal God.

He cares about our thoughts and desires.

One year later

SUDDENLY ….

In a
SUDDENLY MOMENT

When you least expect, God shows up on the scene of our life.

In our waiting, may we wait with EXPECTANCY.
Be ever confident that God hears and answers our prayers.

And SUDDENLY God shows Himself faithful
By SHOWING up with His Best for my life.

IN A SUDDENLY MOMENT – LIFE HAS NEW MEANING

Song “Suddenly” by Billy Ocean
Video Courtesy of Brad Ebert

As wonderful as this “dream come true” appears, I’m mortified to say I almost MISSED and PASSED UP the best blessing of my life in David when I questioned God and his choice. How dare me but I did. Everyone in my life, especially my pastor, was aghast at my indecision.

God reveals His best after five years of waiting on Him yet I fought an inner battle waged on myself whether I could receive this amazing man into my life as well as my children’s.

Faith required me to believe what eyes couldn’t see.
My trust in God required blind eyes walking.

Another song of my heart is written.

The War of My Own Will
By Lori A. Alicea

I toss and turn and try to sleep,
The night it seems so long.
I try and figure out myself,
To see what might be wrong.

But harder that I make it seem,
This mountain or this hill.
I know I’m fighting deep inside,
A war of my own will.

I see things as I know I should,
I hear His guiding voice.
But oh the path I’d rather take,
The trails of my own choice.

It all just seems so right to me,
The pieces I make fit.
But why can’t I rest peaceably,
And sleep a little bit.

The answers that He has for me,
No doubt will be all right.
But war of my own will goes on,
I can’t give up the fight.

My fight with Him will have to stop,
But who will have to die.
Though all along this fight is with,
One, Me, Myself and I.

He never makes me eat His will,
The restaurant is free.
This gentleman just holds the door,
And only waits for me.

I feel this way as others have,
I know I’m not alone.
For His own Son did feel the same,
His will He did make known.

For in Gethsemane He prayed,
In sorrow He did spake.
If it is possible for me,
This cup I plea you take.

The troubled Son was overwhelmed,
His face fell to the ground.
But in the midst of darkest times,
No chains would make Him bound.

For He did yield His life to Him,
To save the life of mine.
When with His lips He spoke these words,
“Yet not My will but Thine”.

To be like Him, the war would end,
The peace that would be still.
The only words my Father wants,
From me is, “Yes I will”.

After much prayer and repentance, I’m at peace to embrace a new chapter in our life.

Two months after our first date on Valentine’s Day, David and I became engaged and married eight months later on October 15, 1994.

Becoming a family of six, blending lives and hearts meant years of God touching and healing our brokenness in discovery of a new beginning for all of us.

God is so good and faithful.
You can trust Him.

During the lonely five years of my wait and wonder,

God was writing our love story.

I couldn’t see it.

I couldn’t imagine it.

But in the silence God was singing a song on our behalf.

He was preparing our new beginning.

We just had to wait for it with great expectancy.

⁹ “What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”^[a]—
the things God has prepared for those who love him—
1 Corinthians 2:9 NIV

David my love,

YOU WERE SO WORTH THE WAIT

24 YEARS LATER

We are still
Living Happily Ever After

SOME WEDDING FUN

Twenty-four years ago bride and grooms couldn’t afford the high cost of videoographers; our wedding included. David and I just wanted to get married. All the extras came as love gifts from the hearts of family and friends.

Our sweet nephew Adam, all of twelve at the time, blessed us greatly when on his own initiative visited guest after guest at the reception to record wedding wishes from them to us with a hand-held recording device called a Talkboy.

Listening to these well wishes the “old fashioned” way, I captured a few of them for our delight as parents cherish hearing their children’s voices from twenty-four years ago. Included are a few family members as well.

Have grace for the misgivings of old technology.