GETTING MARRIED…Thoughtfully consider your vows By Lori A Alicea

June is fast approaching and the wedding season for many brides who have dreamed about this day since she was a little girl is inching ever so close to the printed date and time on her wedding invitation.

No doubt these blushing brides have already said, “Yes, to the dress”, whether simple yet elegant, trimmed in sparkle and beads, a flowing train or not.  Whatever her choice, these beautiful women will surely stand out among the garden of flowers and starry skies of candlelight and take center stage with all eyes on her as she gracefully takes her royal walk down the rose petal isle to her betrothed.

Weddings are beautiful and magical and are unique to the personalities of the bride and groom.

One could get lost in the grand details displayed in every corner of the church, yet the part of the ceremony I lean in close and intently listen to is the exchange of their wedding vows by two people pledging their love for the other for a lifetime; especially if they are handwritten by the bride and groom.

I’ve often encouraged brides and grooms to carefully consider their vows, letting the overflow of their heart be voiced before a church seated with witnesses whose role is to remind them what they spoke and pledged before the other and before God long after the wedding church doors have been closed.

I’ve also encouraged couples to memorialize their vows in a frame and hang in a place to remind them for the days and years to come when circumstances challenge a couple’s love, so their commitments are in full view of what they promised at the altar before God when those seasons of hard times present themselves through the front door.

Weddings are only for a day.

The clock will soon strike midnight, a bride’s gown will find its way back into the box, the tuxedos will be returned, and the garden of fresh flowers will surely wilt.

But marriages are for a lifetime.

The first beginnings of marriage take place when a newly married couple steps into their happily ever.

Looking back at our wedding day almost thirty years ago this October, you think the details would remain fresh in your mind, but sadly they don’t.  Yet, I’m thankful for the photographs and videos which take you back and rewind the clock and bring into full view again our Cinderella Day as if it was yesterday.

But as I encourage new couples about to be married, our vows spoken to the other have been written down for our reminders even thirty years after our wedding on Sweetest Day.

These are my husband’s vows to me.

My love, my words can’t express how much you mean to me.

From the first time I met you

My love for you is immense.

I thank the Lord; he heard my prayers.

You are so special to me.

I promise to love you with all my heart.

And lift you up when you are down.        

I’ll fill your life with happiness as much as I can.

I will never leave you.           

I’ll always be by your side.

You are the joy of my life.

From the first time I met you, I will always love you.

Lori my love, take me as I am.

I give you all of me.

I thank the Lord for you.

My husband David has kept his promises to me and just as he reminded at the altar that day thirty years ago…

My love for you is immense.

Truly, he has cherished me in ways like no other, adding though the love from my Heavenly Father.

These past few months though, another excerpt from my husband’s pledge has been magnified in our home…

I promise to love you with all my heart.

And lift you up when you are down.

 With a few minor health challenges causing me setbacks I have never experienced before; David has been beyond faithful to his vows to…

Lift you up when you are down.

 Coming home from a hard day’s work, David takes over those tasks I was unable to complete in my day; dishes, vacuuming, laundry, whatever it may be, serving without complaining or me asking; he just lifts me up when I am down.

 Words are containers for life or death as we are reminded…

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who live it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:21 NIV

 For those getting married, thoughtfully consider your vows…

At the altar of your lifetime moment on that glorious day you have waited forever for, speak life to the one you are betrothed to, as your words remain alive even thirty years after your memories and photographs are memorialized into its keepsake wedding book.

WEDDINGS PUT ON PAUSE By Lori A. Alicea

I’ve been thinking about you these last few weeks in spite of the fact that we have never met.

I wish I could check in on you every so often and be a small light of encouragement through this window of uncertainty.

Businesses have temporarily closed their doors.
Families have been ordered to take refuge at home.
Tomorrow is a big question mark for the world.

Yes and a resounding Amen as our hearts grieve for those whose lives have been touched or worse yet, taken during this terrible storm.

Lately, face masks are the new fashion “have to” to protect one’s self from harm, yet no mask is invincible enough to shield us from loss or hope deferred.

Yet the silver lining from these dark ominous clouds reveal that compassion is rising to the surface, strangers and neighbors alike are reaching out and sharing with one another, and the glorious rainbow emerging from these world-wide storms remind us that love is winning.

Through it all, life continues with or without our permission.

Life’s footsteps march onward, it doesn’t pause or stand in place for anything.
Babies continue to be born.
We continue to eat and we continue to sleep.

The sun still wakes the world up in the east and tucks us back into bed from the west.

The earth revolves around the sun as it’s done from the beginning of time.

Seasons change guard with each other, and just a few days ago, the season of winter handed over its baton to spring.

While the news we’ve been intently listening to has been focused on health and finance, as it should be, but as a mother of three brides and as an event decorator, my heart has also been grieving for those brides whose
weddings have been put on pause.
1 Crystal's Dress Before 006
Weddings these brides have been dreaming about their whole life.

Weddings, whose details consume a bride’s thoughts for months leading up to her special day.

Yet airline tickets for wedding guests planning to attend these events have been refunded.

Wedding dates are now cancelled or future weddings in limbo as venues have temporarily closed their doors.

Services for florists, bakers, videographers, photographers, event coordinators, wedding singers, DJ’s and event decorators are no longer needed for the weddings they were booked for during this wedding season of spring.

Brides all over the world aren’t blushing.

Brides weep over their “dreams of a lifetime” put on pause.

While there is nothing I can do to change the situation, I can sit with these brides and hold their hand through my words to say,
“I’m thinking of you.”

Weddings put on pause
Don’t equate to a missed doctor’s appointment.

Women begin dreaming of their wedding day decades earlier as little girls playing dress up in their mother’s heels and makeup.

Weddings are a volume of thoughtful details that take months and years sometimes to prepare for; emotionally, spiritually, and financially.

I’d love to be invited to these bride’s houses and take an emotional tour of her wedding day as she planned, a tour to keep the momentum of her excitement going, a tour to remind these blushing brides that her dreams haven’t been cancelled, just a wedding put on pause.

I’d smile to hold your color coordinated wedding invitation that started it all,

Announcing to the world of two hearts about to be joined as one, an announcement inviting those selected guests to witness your day.
2 invitations

I’d quite possibly hear about your grandmother’s wedding day through her jewelry you’d be wearing, honoring her memory of “something borrowed.”

I have no doubt that mothers or mothers-stepping-in will accompany this tour, crying already as she envisions her daughter stepping into her wedding dress.

Becoming this vision of loveliness she imagined in her dreams as a little girl.
8 Cumbee-164The bride’s tresses are described as twisted and pinned off her soft neck into intricate flowers as beautiful as the bouquet she will be carrying.

No wedding is complete without a prince waiting at the altar, telling his bride it’s time to step into her Cinderella slippers and carriage awaiting outside to take her to the ball.

Brides deserve a grand entrance with all eyes on her, as she is escorted slowly to the altar where her prince is waiting, holding on to the arm of her father or father-of-choice, as these two are kissed and greeted with a garden of flowers and lit candles on both sides of this entrance, an isle befitting a queen.

I can perfectly see the sacred communion table where this bride and groom share and pray over their first meal together.

Shared are
With these rings and vows
“I thee wed.”

A bride and grooms first steps together as man and wife.
20 IMG_7099Our wedding tour leaves the church and continues to the reception hall where the bride ponders her invited guests she couldn’t wait to see, those who committed to long travels for her special day.

What wedding wouldn’t be complete without a cake, a confection to celebrate two people just married.

Brides are saddened to see the decorated tables empty in her mind of guests, bridal party and her betrothed.
25 England_Wedding-402With eyes closed, brides imagine that first dance embraced by the love of her life, swaying as the music quietly plays from her heart.
26 Cumbee-761Sadly, midnight comes for every bride and groom, closing the wedding book of little girl’s dreams and planning,

Yet marking a new beginning of marriage.
27 England_Wedding-382The tour closes with all brides shrugging her shoulders wearing that same look of
“what now?”

I would tell each bride that God knows all things.

God has her steps ordered and nothing has taken him by surprise, though the world has been surprised for certain.

I assure each bride to take heart that her
Wedding in pause isn’t forever.
1 Crystal's Dress Before 006That however or whenever her wedding plans will unfold,
Her wedding will be as it was always supposed to be,
Even better than she imagined,

In God’s perfect plan.